Friday, February 23, 2007
Stalker!
I've been stalking Zoe on her blog (link posted to the right) and I made a comment under her "Blogging For Choice" post... refer to that.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Life's a Beach
So, I just checked on the weather back home… and I can’t help but chuckle when I look at my surroundings (the US Virgin Islands) and think about all of my friends at home getting absolutely douched by snowstorms. As I previously vacation-name-dropped… I am here in the magnificent St. Thomas soaking up the rays and enjoying life. My family decided to take a week long vacation and I made the executive decision to miss a couple days of school and take this once in a lifetime trip. I’m telling you… this place is absolutely amazing! The temp is perfect, our house is straight from a picture book, and the views are surreal. I honestly feel like I am in heaven.
Hanging out in this idyllic location has really helped me to clear my mind and inevitably forced me to think about life and things I want to accomplish. I came up with a little list of goals… my “Top Three” if you will... and here they are! 1. Eat a foot long turkey sandwich from Subway in one sitting… 2. Surpass the clickers amount of Skips on my Skip-It… and 3. Write a book. I know I joked in an earlier entry about “Memoirs of a Laura” but it’s not just a joke. I am dead serious. Before I die I will have written a book and it will have been published… and it’s going to be ah-may-zing! And if nobody (well aside from my mom… she has to… it’s her job to like everything her kids produce) likes it I won’t care… I’m doing this for me and only me.
Now my dream would be to get a year where I could just sit here, on the beach, soaking up the rays… Take out my laptop and let my nimble little fingers go to town. However, the likelihood of me miraculously getting a year away from school, work, and life isn’t very good… so it might get a little tricky.
I’m thinking this mission will involve the CIA and the Witness Protection Agency… As a student in DC I’ve got a few connections, so this shouldn’t be much of a problem… quick name change (Sneaky Spice?) and location change (Caribbean, Hawaii, Australia, Minnesota… wherever.) and BAM! it’s book writing time!
Ok, now that I’ve got that minor detail settled… what the hell am I going to write about? Well, I’m taking a class right now at GW – which is actually why I am writing this blog… I know, God bless GW, otherwise you people would have never come across this beautiful creation and would ultimately be at a loss (and by “you people” I mean my mom and my grandma) – Anyway, this class is all about memoirs and autobiographies… and what I have gathered thus far is that it is pretty much a free for all. Nothing could please me more!! I’m kind of an odd person… my 2 favorite things in this world are organizing and planning… but I hate structure and having to follow directions when I’m writing… because structure + rules + writing = BORING! So, I go with the “do what you wanna do” theme… that’s what I’m all about. All right… so I’m doing what I want to do… fan-freaking-tastic… I can feel your support seeping through my computer screen… Anyway, I know you are dying to hear a brief synopsis of what my little love memoir is going be about… I mean with the title “Memoirs of a Laura” it doesn’t come as much of a surprise that it is going to be the story of my life… but I mean, I’m cool (and humble), so it should be fun! I’ll start with the birth of this cute little gem (stories I heard about before I started remembering) moving on to horrifying things that happened to me when I was a fat little kid all the way to present and my thoughts on the future. So… there’s my plan, now it’s just putting this all into action! When I get back to the District I’m having lunch with George and Laura so I’ll drop the idea of getting in touch with the big kids and go from there… As for now I’m going to stop blabbing on this bloggerific blog and get back to the beachin’ beach… I’m going to enjoy my week away from email, cell phones, and uptight people. Watch for my book folks… it’s going to be stellar!
God Bless! (And when I say God I am referring to whomever your God is… Our Father, Your Father, Dennis Rodman… whatever.)
*Written while I was at the beach… Submitted when I returned.
*Not sure why I decided to let you know that minute detail… but I wouldn’t want you to ever question my credibility like that damn James Frey… after all I would never dream of pissing Oprah off… Trust me, you will see Memoirs of A Laura in her book club. I’m as real as the cheddar cheese in Cheez-It's.
Hanging out in this idyllic location has really helped me to clear my mind and inevitably forced me to think about life and things I want to accomplish. I came up with a little list of goals… my “Top Three” if you will... and here they are! 1. Eat a foot long turkey sandwich from Subway in one sitting… 2. Surpass the clickers amount of Skips on my Skip-It… and 3. Write a book. I know I joked in an earlier entry about “Memoirs of a Laura” but it’s not just a joke. I am dead serious. Before I die I will have written a book and it will have been published… and it’s going to be ah-may-zing! And if nobody (well aside from my mom… she has to… it’s her job to like everything her kids produce) likes it I won’t care… I’m doing this for me and only me.
Now my dream would be to get a year where I could just sit here, on the beach, soaking up the rays… Take out my laptop and let my nimble little fingers go to town. However, the likelihood of me miraculously getting a year away from school, work, and life isn’t very good… so it might get a little tricky.
I’m thinking this mission will involve the CIA and the Witness Protection Agency… As a student in DC I’ve got a few connections, so this shouldn’t be much of a problem… quick name change (Sneaky Spice?) and location change (Caribbean, Hawaii, Australia, Minnesota… wherever.) and BAM! it’s book writing time!
Ok, now that I’ve got that minor detail settled… what the hell am I going to write about? Well, I’m taking a class right now at GW – which is actually why I am writing this blog… I know, God bless GW, otherwise you people would have never come across this beautiful creation and would ultimately be at a loss (and by “you people” I mean my mom and my grandma) – Anyway, this class is all about memoirs and autobiographies… and what I have gathered thus far is that it is pretty much a free for all. Nothing could please me more!! I’m kind of an odd person… my 2 favorite things in this world are organizing and planning… but I hate structure and having to follow directions when I’m writing… because structure + rules + writing = BORING! So, I go with the “do what you wanna do” theme… that’s what I’m all about. All right… so I’m doing what I want to do… fan-freaking-tastic… I can feel your support seeping through my computer screen… Anyway, I know you are dying to hear a brief synopsis of what my little love memoir is going be about… I mean with the title “Memoirs of a Laura” it doesn’t come as much of a surprise that it is going to be the story of my life… but I mean, I’m cool (and humble), so it should be fun! I’ll start with the birth of this cute little gem (stories I heard about before I started remembering) moving on to horrifying things that happened to me when I was a fat little kid all the way to present and my thoughts on the future. So… there’s my plan, now it’s just putting this all into action! When I get back to the District I’m having lunch with George and Laura so I’ll drop the idea of getting in touch with the big kids and go from there… As for now I’m going to stop blabbing on this bloggerific blog and get back to the beachin’ beach… I’m going to enjoy my week away from email, cell phones, and uptight people. Watch for my book folks… it’s going to be stellar!
God Bless! (And when I say God I am referring to whomever your God is… Our Father, Your Father, Dennis Rodman… whatever.)
*Written while I was at the beach… Submitted when I returned.
*Not sure why I decided to let you know that minute detail… but I wouldn’t want you to ever question my credibility like that damn James Frey… after all I would never dream of pissing Oprah off… Trust me, you will see Memoirs of A Laura in her book club. I’m as real as the cheddar cheese in Cheez-It's.
Friday, February 2, 2007
Niche... How do I find it?! (My Semi-Autobiography)
Five in the morning, the date, September 1st, the year, 1987, Kimberly Maas was in more pain than when Sylvia Plath stuck her head in her oven. I’ll save you the gory details of blood and placenta and skip to the part where the cutest kid in the whole damn world entered the room. At 6:05 a.m. I, Laura Ann Maas, made my way into 1987 in style. I went with the naturalistic theme, I had dreams of nudism and spending my life in a hot tub so that I could keep the hot little wrinkly look I had going on. Needless to say the world was about to change with L.Maas in it.
I was brought into a lovely dysfunctional family that I would grow to love more than Paris Hilton loves her little dog Tink. My eldest brother Jacob has always been able to relate with me best; from carrying me on his shoulders to teaching me how to drive he was my buddy. Then the next oldest is my sister Ericca. Nine years apart in age but as close as two adorable little peas in a pod, she is my best friend, my rock, and forever my role model. Next comes my darling older brother Caleb; how do I describe Caleb? Well, he is a witty, cynical, fascinating, ridiculously charming and beautiful young man. I love him more than life itself, but when we get into ludicrous arguments about which cleaning solution will best get a grass stain out of my new white pants I strongly consider just strangling him with them. Like I said, we are completely dysfunctional, but if we were functional I would have probably considered moving out. Moved in with the Partridge’s or the Brady’s we all knew what happened when the cameras were turned off. So, who are the owners of these charming little darlings? Kimberly and David Maas serve as our caretakers, our parents, but most of all our wisdom providers. They would bend over backwards, and do any other extremely difficult stretch to help us out. Because of this wonderful family I was able to become all that I could be, and I didn’t even need the Army Reserve.
Through the years I went on a journey, an adventure if you will, to find something better than a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, although I tried that too, I got lost. I was in search of my niche. Such a beautiful word, this “niche.” I was determined to find it; I adopted a cat once, thought I could be a veterinarian. Turned out the cat was a whore and there was a lot of incest, and, well, we ended up with 30 cats in about seven months. I thought this meant my business was booming, but my mother had different thoughts. Ok, whatever, so I crossed vet off my list, they don’t make enough money anyway. I knew where the real moneymakers were, and that’s what led me to my dream of becoming part of the WNBA. Day and night I was out in our driveway working on my “skills,” I had the lay-up down pact, about 20 percent with my free throws, basically I had MJ shakin’ in his high tops. But for some reason my eighth grade coach didn’t see my talent and put me on the “B-Squad” which we all know is the nice was of saying “Bloody Awful-Squad.” Well, whatever, I didn’t need the smelly WNBA anyway, girls in sports? Please. So with those two crossed off my list I decided to go with something a little subtler, organizing and planning. Which totally makes sense because what do you get when you cross a WNBA star with a veterinarian? Duh, an organizing and planning freak! Ok, so it doesn’t totally make sense, but it is kind of my passion. Weird passion, I know, but it’s what I like for now, and it is what led me to the fine institution of The George Washington University. How you ask? Well let me tell you, I set up this fantastic spread sheet of all of my likes and dislikes, interests and non-interests, and just about every other opposite pair in the world, did a couple of quick calculations, pulled out the Pythagorean theorem and out popped G-Dub!
Ok, so I didn’t exactly reach my life goal of finding my “niche” but, hey, guess what? I’m not done living yet! If I don’t find it at GW I’ll find it somewhere else, in the mean time I take every experience as a lesson and try to do everything in my power to make someone else’s day. So, until my little friend Mr. Niche comes knocking on my door, I’m just here as Laura Maas living my life and loving every moment of it.
I was brought into a lovely dysfunctional family that I would grow to love more than Paris Hilton loves her little dog Tink. My eldest brother Jacob has always been able to relate with me best; from carrying me on his shoulders to teaching me how to drive he was my buddy. Then the next oldest is my sister Ericca. Nine years apart in age but as close as two adorable little peas in a pod, she is my best friend, my rock, and forever my role model. Next comes my darling older brother Caleb; how do I describe Caleb? Well, he is a witty, cynical, fascinating, ridiculously charming and beautiful young man. I love him more than life itself, but when we get into ludicrous arguments about which cleaning solution will best get a grass stain out of my new white pants I strongly consider just strangling him with them. Like I said, we are completely dysfunctional, but if we were functional I would have probably considered moving out. Moved in with the Partridge’s or the Brady’s we all knew what happened when the cameras were turned off. So, who are the owners of these charming little darlings? Kimberly and David Maas serve as our caretakers, our parents, but most of all our wisdom providers. They would bend over backwards, and do any other extremely difficult stretch to help us out. Because of this wonderful family I was able to become all that I could be, and I didn’t even need the Army Reserve.
Through the years I went on a journey, an adventure if you will, to find something better than a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, although I tried that too, I got lost. I was in search of my niche. Such a beautiful word, this “niche.” I was determined to find it; I adopted a cat once, thought I could be a veterinarian. Turned out the cat was a whore and there was a lot of incest, and, well, we ended up with 30 cats in about seven months. I thought this meant my business was booming, but my mother had different thoughts. Ok, whatever, so I crossed vet off my list, they don’t make enough money anyway. I knew where the real moneymakers were, and that’s what led me to my dream of becoming part of the WNBA. Day and night I was out in our driveway working on my “skills,” I had the lay-up down pact, about 20 percent with my free throws, basically I had MJ shakin’ in his high tops. But for some reason my eighth grade coach didn’t see my talent and put me on the “B-Squad” which we all know is the nice was of saying “Bloody Awful-Squad.” Well, whatever, I didn’t need the smelly WNBA anyway, girls in sports? Please. So with those two crossed off my list I decided to go with something a little subtler, organizing and planning. Which totally makes sense because what do you get when you cross a WNBA star with a veterinarian? Duh, an organizing and planning freak! Ok, so it doesn’t totally make sense, but it is kind of my passion. Weird passion, I know, but it’s what I like for now, and it is what led me to the fine institution of The George Washington University. How you ask? Well let me tell you, I set up this fantastic spread sheet of all of my likes and dislikes, interests and non-interests, and just about every other opposite pair in the world, did a couple of quick calculations, pulled out the Pythagorean theorem and out popped G-Dub!
Ok, so I didn’t exactly reach my life goal of finding my “niche” but, hey, guess what? I’m not done living yet! If I don’t find it at GW I’ll find it somewhere else, in the mean time I take every experience as a lesson and try to do everything in my power to make someone else’s day. So, until my little friend Mr. Niche comes knocking on my door, I’m just here as Laura Maas living my life and loving every moment of it.
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