I find it odd that I am sad about a class ending, but when it comes to my UW class, I am going to miss it a lot! It was an amazing class, amazing material, and an amazing professor. I feel that who is in a class really makes the class, when you enjoy the people you are around and when you feel comfortable sharing ideas and constructive criticism that is a good level to be at with people. We really helped each other grow, and I have made such great friends. It’s not everyday you get placed in a writing pod and you take a nap and spoon after the first project. (Long story, lets just say I am madly in love with my writing pod girls, Kat and Lindsay) As for the material, I found some things to be boring, but when it all culminated together at the end I truly feel that this class was a wonderful addition to my course load. And I really think it speaks highly of a class when a person (that’s me!) falls in love with their research paper and goes through withdrawal once it’s over (my current state.) I seriously think I need help because all I want to do is continue to research Ellen and find out more to add to my research. I mean for a good month I would eat, sleep, and breathe Ellen… I was literally obsessed with my paper. Like I said I think that speaks very highly of a class. It also speaks highly of the professor. (I’m going to make the assumption that she will read this after my grade is finalized, so… don’t call me a brown-noser, losers.) I honestly feel that Dr. Caroline Smith is one of the most amazing professors that I have come across in all my years (I know I’m young but that’s still a compliment… seeing as one of my best friends is a teacher… I love to connect with professors and I love creating friendships) CJS (we nicknamed her) is the perfect balance of funny and let’s get shit done, and she does everything without belittling us. I truly respect her and she has helped my writing EMENSELY! I feel so comfortable now going into my other classes and writing papers…. I have less stress, I feel as though I can prepare myself better, and I just have an overwhelming sense of power when writing now. When she reads this she may think it’s weird, but I would totally be friends with CJS in real life… she is so cool and down to earth, I am so glad that I was able to learn from her this year, she was truly amazing!
As I stated before, I feel SO much more comfortable with my writing. Also, CJS helped me conquer an issue that has caused me problems for years… controlling my voice. So I am very excited about that! And… now I am ready to write my memoir! I CAN’T WAIT!!
UW officially rocks. If I could major in UW I would… hmmm? I’ll think on that. Ok, well, this may be my last blog… sad. No it won’t. I’ll be back. We’ll do an “Adventures in Babysitting” series over the summer when I start my job where I play with kids and take them around DC! (Who in their right mind gave me this job… I’m banking on that fact that at least half of the kids are more mature than me…)
Well kids, it’s been fun!
Oh! PS. I am mailing my paper to Ellen with a letter attached saying that we should be BFF’s… so watch for me on her show… how great would that be? Trust me, I’ve had dreams about it… (Like I said: eat, SLEEP, and breathe… and I eat Ellen O’s… they are like cheerios, quite tasty and gluten free!) Ok, bye.
Friday, April 27, 2007
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Symposium = Good Times
So today we had our writing symposium, and it was surprisingly nice. Our professor was the one that put the whole shindig on, and she did a great job --- I think it was a big success.
I have become mildly obsessed with my class lately, so it was great to hang out with them -- we even proposed to have a class bowling trip, how cute are we? I was really impressed by how we all pulled our things together, and I think we impressed our audience. I most enjoyed sitting at my post looking at my fellow classmates talking to their audience. Everyone was SO into it, and was so excited to tell someone else about their topic. I think that speaks highly of our class, our professor, and our selves for pickinging topics that really strike our core.
Aside from our class being amazing, I really enjoyed the feedback I recieved. I was given great ideas that I can tie into my paper, and as I talked about my issue it really solidified my thesis and gave me great ideas to take with me in revising my paper. All in all today was a great and very productive day!
**Regarding the other presentation I went to, it was very interesting, and (although at first I thought it was lame the our professor was making us see another one) I enjoyed it and learned from it. Most of all I was glad I was a part of the symposium, and I was really glad our whole class decided to do this together!
I have become mildly obsessed with my class lately, so it was great to hang out with them -- we even proposed to have a class bowling trip, how cute are we? I was really impressed by how we all pulled our things together, and I think we impressed our audience. I most enjoyed sitting at my post looking at my fellow classmates talking to their audience. Everyone was SO into it, and was so excited to tell someone else about their topic. I think that speaks highly of our class, our professor, and our selves for pickinging topics that really strike our core.
Aside from our class being amazing, I really enjoyed the feedback I recieved. I was given great ideas that I can tie into my paper, and as I talked about my issue it really solidified my thesis and gave me great ideas to take with me in revising my paper. All in all today was a great and very productive day!
**Regarding the other presentation I went to, it was very interesting, and (although at first I thought it was lame the our professor was making us see another one) I enjoyed it and learned from it. Most of all I was glad I was a part of the symposium, and I was really glad our whole class decided to do this together!
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Straight Up and WHA?
So in my UW class we basically learn to read and write well, two of the most important skills in life. We’ve read your basic works… Sylvia Plath, Santha Rama Rau, Audre Lorde, and just recently we moved on to Stephanie Klein… WHAT? Her sassy memoir, Straight Up and Dirty, kind of came out of nowhere. While I am not even close to complaining… I just think this proves how broad the spectrum can be when discussing autobiographies and memoirs… everything from depressing poetry about a lost love to slutty language about an Ex-fuck.
So, what do I think about Straight Up and Dirty and Ms. Kline? Well… I love her sassy way of life and how she LITERALLY created a tell-all book. She’s not hiding anything, and I like that about her. However, I am also one of the most innocent, naïve girls that this world has seen… so, let’s just say I have learned… quite a bit from Ms. Stephanie. As previously stated, I really do enjoy her honesty, and it is definitely a book that I will gladly read as opposed to prying my eyelids open with clamps as with some of our other readings in class.
While I am only a chapter into it, I am noticing that her bluntness and openness has almost caused me to lack sympathy for her, and I’m not quite sure why that is. Maybe as the book goes on I will start to feel for her… but right now she just seems like a slutty mess of a relationship. However this is only in terms of my standards of a woman – others may very well see her as a charming individual.
Maybe once I read more (and get past giggling whenever she talks about sex) I will appreciate her strength for coming out to the world with no walls – telling her story for what it is. We will see Miss Klein… as for now you are quite entertaining and I have learned more from you than I have from Cosmo. ☺
So, what do I think about Straight Up and Dirty and Ms. Kline? Well… I love her sassy way of life and how she LITERALLY created a tell-all book. She’s not hiding anything, and I like that about her. However, I am also one of the most innocent, naïve girls that this world has seen… so, let’s just say I have learned… quite a bit from Ms. Stephanie. As previously stated, I really do enjoy her honesty, and it is definitely a book that I will gladly read as opposed to prying my eyelids open with clamps as with some of our other readings in class.
While I am only a chapter into it, I am noticing that her bluntness and openness has almost caused me to lack sympathy for her, and I’m not quite sure why that is. Maybe as the book goes on I will start to feel for her… but right now she just seems like a slutty mess of a relationship. However this is only in terms of my standards of a woman – others may very well see her as a charming individual.
Maybe once I read more (and get past giggling whenever she talks about sex) I will appreciate her strength for coming out to the world with no walls – telling her story for what it is. We will see Miss Klein… as for now you are quite entertaining and I have learned more from you than I have from Cosmo. ☺
Friday, March 2, 2007
Why Must My Cultural Background Be SO Boring?
As you know I am in a University Writing class here at GW, and this week we started something new. We were given a healthy dose of readings to do. Usually when I am assigned readings for a class my mind splits the readings into three sections… 1. BS readings – My mind tells me, “Use the time you would spend reading this on something more useful… like a nap.” 2. Slightly useful readings – Mind says, “Laura, you might want to graze this over while watching Friends, pick out an intelligent point to bring up in class so you look smart.” 3. Necessary readings – Brain exclaims, “Get your ass to the library and read the damn things… I don’t care if you don’t like it… you’re going to make yourself like it… then grab some ice cream after, I’m hungry.” So, as you may have guessed, my readings for this week were in fact “necessary” which is fine by me… I actually respect this class and the professor quite a bit because she doesn’t give out pointless crap just for the fun of it (btw. Just for the fun of it? What, honestly is done “just for the fun of it…” lame.) Anyway, all of our readings lead up to something. This week our lovely selection of readings will serve as supplements to our next literary analysis paper (oh boy… more fun than a barrel of monkeys… which, unfortunately for the paper’s sake, aren’t really that much fun.) Ok, so, on to my point (which really is something I never achieve… but I promise I do have one… if you read between the lines.) This week we read some fine essays by Sara Suleri and Santha Rama Rau; we read their stories Meatless Days and Gifts of Passage.
Meatless Days was a massive metaphor with food as the symbol. A young girl told her story of growing up with both Pakistani and Welch roots. She explained her struggle of wanting to keep both cultures as part of herself, and she described these struggles with food metaphors. While the idea of food metaphors seems quite odd upon the first glance, it is actually quite affective. All of the food stories actually perfectly describe her encounters with people over the years.
Gifts of Passage was the other story, which I must say was my favorite of the two. It was such a good story! Her family was a very prominent one in the Indian society; her father was in the Indian Civil Service and later was an Ambassador, so they were constantly moving. The story starts with her starting at a new school with the British children. During this part of the book we see her struggle with wanting to hold on to her Indian heritage while also wanting to fit in. It later goes into her listening to stories about ghosts from her grandfather and ultimately ends with her falling in love with their gardener who was a nationalist. So the story deals a lot with identity and sticking to her Indian culture while still trying to please herself and her family.
Both of these stories deal a lot with culture and true identity. I love reading articles like this because I am so fascinated by other cultures and their way of life. As a boring white kid from Minnesota, there is no way for me to empathize with these women’s stories, but I definitely sympathize and respect everything they talk about. But the common issue I saw between these two stories was definitely the struggle to find their true identity.
In Meatless Days she is half Pakistani, half Welch, so she struggles in knowing which cultural path to follow. In relation to my life (I’m half South Minnesotan – half 15minutes east of there Minnesotan) I can’t empathize, but I have often wondered what life would be like if I married outside my cultural race. While I am extremely attracted to men of African decent, I’m not sure that I have the strength to try to break the cultural gap and give up my way of life to try to compromise with a different way. I think I am being very selfish in this mindset, but at least I’m honest. Suleri’s challenge with this is a very interesting one to read about, she showed a lot of courage in her story and is a truly determined young woman. I admired her a lot for making it work and for holding on to each part of herself.
In Gifts of Passage Rama Rau was struggling with the balance between cultures in a different way. She was an Indian girl living in a British world. Finding the balance between keeping her own cultural values and trying to accommodate to her surroundings was a truly difficult battle for Rama Rau. I must put on record that I am madly in love with diversity; it is one of the main reasons why I am here at GW, so I really enjoyed reading this passage. It always breaks my heart when I hear stories of discrimination. So, naturally I nearly cried when I read about her being discriminated against in school (I’m a big softy too.) But I thought her desire to hold on to her heritage and her customs was quite admirable. There are so many people in this world living away from their home country, and I thought it was great to hear from a personal perspective what it is like trying to hold on to your cultural beliefs.
As you can see I really got into these readings… I’m not always so good at seeing the “big picture” of stories, but from what I gathered these excerpts were great! I’m glad my mind told me to get my tush on over to the library, well worth it. Although, the one downfall of these readings was that in the end I left the table feeling bad about myself. I complain about stupid shit all the time… what for? So many people have been through so much more (read When Heaven and Earth Change Places) and they don’t even complain… they just tell their beautiful stories of struggles and accomplishments. No more complaining for me. Although, one last complaint… I wish I had more than just Minnesotan in me… I feel so boring. I’ll work on that.
Until next time… read some, laugh some, and go find your biological roots.
Meatless Days was a massive metaphor with food as the symbol. A young girl told her story of growing up with both Pakistani and Welch roots. She explained her struggle of wanting to keep both cultures as part of herself, and she described these struggles with food metaphors. While the idea of food metaphors seems quite odd upon the first glance, it is actually quite affective. All of the food stories actually perfectly describe her encounters with people over the years.
Gifts of Passage was the other story, which I must say was my favorite of the two. It was such a good story! Her family was a very prominent one in the Indian society; her father was in the Indian Civil Service and later was an Ambassador, so they were constantly moving. The story starts with her starting at a new school with the British children. During this part of the book we see her struggle with wanting to hold on to her Indian heritage while also wanting to fit in. It later goes into her listening to stories about ghosts from her grandfather and ultimately ends with her falling in love with their gardener who was a nationalist. So the story deals a lot with identity and sticking to her Indian culture while still trying to please herself and her family.
Both of these stories deal a lot with culture and true identity. I love reading articles like this because I am so fascinated by other cultures and their way of life. As a boring white kid from Minnesota, there is no way for me to empathize with these women’s stories, but I definitely sympathize and respect everything they talk about. But the common issue I saw between these two stories was definitely the struggle to find their true identity.
In Meatless Days she is half Pakistani, half Welch, so she struggles in knowing which cultural path to follow. In relation to my life (I’m half South Minnesotan – half 15minutes east of there Minnesotan) I can’t empathize, but I have often wondered what life would be like if I married outside my cultural race. While I am extremely attracted to men of African decent, I’m not sure that I have the strength to try to break the cultural gap and give up my way of life to try to compromise with a different way. I think I am being very selfish in this mindset, but at least I’m honest. Suleri’s challenge with this is a very interesting one to read about, she showed a lot of courage in her story and is a truly determined young woman. I admired her a lot for making it work and for holding on to each part of herself.
In Gifts of Passage Rama Rau was struggling with the balance between cultures in a different way. She was an Indian girl living in a British world. Finding the balance between keeping her own cultural values and trying to accommodate to her surroundings was a truly difficult battle for Rama Rau. I must put on record that I am madly in love with diversity; it is one of the main reasons why I am here at GW, so I really enjoyed reading this passage. It always breaks my heart when I hear stories of discrimination. So, naturally I nearly cried when I read about her being discriminated against in school (I’m a big softy too.) But I thought her desire to hold on to her heritage and her customs was quite admirable. There are so many people in this world living away from their home country, and I thought it was great to hear from a personal perspective what it is like trying to hold on to your cultural beliefs.
As you can see I really got into these readings… I’m not always so good at seeing the “big picture” of stories, but from what I gathered these excerpts were great! I’m glad my mind told me to get my tush on over to the library, well worth it. Although, the one downfall of these readings was that in the end I left the table feeling bad about myself. I complain about stupid shit all the time… what for? So many people have been through so much more (read When Heaven and Earth Change Places) and they don’t even complain… they just tell their beautiful stories of struggles and accomplishments. No more complaining for me. Although, one last complaint… I wish I had more than just Minnesotan in me… I feel so boring. I’ll work on that.
Until next time… read some, laugh some, and go find your biological roots.
Friday, February 23, 2007
Stalker!
I've been stalking Zoe on her blog (link posted to the right) and I made a comment under her "Blogging For Choice" post... refer to that.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Life's a Beach
So, I just checked on the weather back home… and I can’t help but chuckle when I look at my surroundings (the US Virgin Islands) and think about all of my friends at home getting absolutely douched by snowstorms. As I previously vacation-name-dropped… I am here in the magnificent St. Thomas soaking up the rays and enjoying life. My family decided to take a week long vacation and I made the executive decision to miss a couple days of school and take this once in a lifetime trip. I’m telling you… this place is absolutely amazing! The temp is perfect, our house is straight from a picture book, and the views are surreal. I honestly feel like I am in heaven.
Hanging out in this idyllic location has really helped me to clear my mind and inevitably forced me to think about life and things I want to accomplish. I came up with a little list of goals… my “Top Three” if you will... and here they are! 1. Eat a foot long turkey sandwich from Subway in one sitting… 2. Surpass the clickers amount of Skips on my Skip-It… and 3. Write a book. I know I joked in an earlier entry about “Memoirs of a Laura” but it’s not just a joke. I am dead serious. Before I die I will have written a book and it will have been published… and it’s going to be ah-may-zing! And if nobody (well aside from my mom… she has to… it’s her job to like everything her kids produce) likes it I won’t care… I’m doing this for me and only me.
Now my dream would be to get a year where I could just sit here, on the beach, soaking up the rays… Take out my laptop and let my nimble little fingers go to town. However, the likelihood of me miraculously getting a year away from school, work, and life isn’t very good… so it might get a little tricky.
I’m thinking this mission will involve the CIA and the Witness Protection Agency… As a student in DC I’ve got a few connections, so this shouldn’t be much of a problem… quick name change (Sneaky Spice?) and location change (Caribbean, Hawaii, Australia, Minnesota… wherever.) and BAM! it’s book writing time!
Ok, now that I’ve got that minor detail settled… what the hell am I going to write about? Well, I’m taking a class right now at GW – which is actually why I am writing this blog… I know, God bless GW, otherwise you people would have never come across this beautiful creation and would ultimately be at a loss (and by “you people” I mean my mom and my grandma) – Anyway, this class is all about memoirs and autobiographies… and what I have gathered thus far is that it is pretty much a free for all. Nothing could please me more!! I’m kind of an odd person… my 2 favorite things in this world are organizing and planning… but I hate structure and having to follow directions when I’m writing… because structure + rules + writing = BORING! So, I go with the “do what you wanna do” theme… that’s what I’m all about. All right… so I’m doing what I want to do… fan-freaking-tastic… I can feel your support seeping through my computer screen… Anyway, I know you are dying to hear a brief synopsis of what my little love memoir is going be about… I mean with the title “Memoirs of a Laura” it doesn’t come as much of a surprise that it is going to be the story of my life… but I mean, I’m cool (and humble), so it should be fun! I’ll start with the birth of this cute little gem (stories I heard about before I started remembering) moving on to horrifying things that happened to me when I was a fat little kid all the way to present and my thoughts on the future. So… there’s my plan, now it’s just putting this all into action! When I get back to the District I’m having lunch with George and Laura so I’ll drop the idea of getting in touch with the big kids and go from there… As for now I’m going to stop blabbing on this bloggerific blog and get back to the beachin’ beach… I’m going to enjoy my week away from email, cell phones, and uptight people. Watch for my book folks… it’s going to be stellar!
God Bless! (And when I say God I am referring to whomever your God is… Our Father, Your Father, Dennis Rodman… whatever.)
*Written while I was at the beach… Submitted when I returned.
*Not sure why I decided to let you know that minute detail… but I wouldn’t want you to ever question my credibility like that damn James Frey… after all I would never dream of pissing Oprah off… Trust me, you will see Memoirs of A Laura in her book club. I’m as real as the cheddar cheese in Cheez-It's.
Hanging out in this idyllic location has really helped me to clear my mind and inevitably forced me to think about life and things I want to accomplish. I came up with a little list of goals… my “Top Three” if you will... and here they are! 1. Eat a foot long turkey sandwich from Subway in one sitting… 2. Surpass the clickers amount of Skips on my Skip-It… and 3. Write a book. I know I joked in an earlier entry about “Memoirs of a Laura” but it’s not just a joke. I am dead serious. Before I die I will have written a book and it will have been published… and it’s going to be ah-may-zing! And if nobody (well aside from my mom… she has to… it’s her job to like everything her kids produce) likes it I won’t care… I’m doing this for me and only me.
Now my dream would be to get a year where I could just sit here, on the beach, soaking up the rays… Take out my laptop and let my nimble little fingers go to town. However, the likelihood of me miraculously getting a year away from school, work, and life isn’t very good… so it might get a little tricky.
I’m thinking this mission will involve the CIA and the Witness Protection Agency… As a student in DC I’ve got a few connections, so this shouldn’t be much of a problem… quick name change (Sneaky Spice?) and location change (Caribbean, Hawaii, Australia, Minnesota… wherever.) and BAM! it’s book writing time!
Ok, now that I’ve got that minor detail settled… what the hell am I going to write about? Well, I’m taking a class right now at GW – which is actually why I am writing this blog… I know, God bless GW, otherwise you people would have never come across this beautiful creation and would ultimately be at a loss (and by “you people” I mean my mom and my grandma) – Anyway, this class is all about memoirs and autobiographies… and what I have gathered thus far is that it is pretty much a free for all. Nothing could please me more!! I’m kind of an odd person… my 2 favorite things in this world are organizing and planning… but I hate structure and having to follow directions when I’m writing… because structure + rules + writing = BORING! So, I go with the “do what you wanna do” theme… that’s what I’m all about. All right… so I’m doing what I want to do… fan-freaking-tastic… I can feel your support seeping through my computer screen… Anyway, I know you are dying to hear a brief synopsis of what my little love memoir is going be about… I mean with the title “Memoirs of a Laura” it doesn’t come as much of a surprise that it is going to be the story of my life… but I mean, I’m cool (and humble), so it should be fun! I’ll start with the birth of this cute little gem (stories I heard about before I started remembering) moving on to horrifying things that happened to me when I was a fat little kid all the way to present and my thoughts on the future. So… there’s my plan, now it’s just putting this all into action! When I get back to the District I’m having lunch with George and Laura so I’ll drop the idea of getting in touch with the big kids and go from there… As for now I’m going to stop blabbing on this bloggerific blog and get back to the beachin’ beach… I’m going to enjoy my week away from email, cell phones, and uptight people. Watch for my book folks… it’s going to be stellar!
God Bless! (And when I say God I am referring to whomever your God is… Our Father, Your Father, Dennis Rodman… whatever.)
*Written while I was at the beach… Submitted when I returned.
*Not sure why I decided to let you know that minute detail… but I wouldn’t want you to ever question my credibility like that damn James Frey… after all I would never dream of pissing Oprah off… Trust me, you will see Memoirs of A Laura in her book club. I’m as real as the cheddar cheese in Cheez-It's.
Friday, February 2, 2007
Niche... How do I find it?! (My Semi-Autobiography)
Five in the morning, the date, September 1st, the year, 1987, Kimberly Maas was in more pain than when Sylvia Plath stuck her head in her oven. I’ll save you the gory details of blood and placenta and skip to the part where the cutest kid in the whole damn world entered the room. At 6:05 a.m. I, Laura Ann Maas, made my way into 1987 in style. I went with the naturalistic theme, I had dreams of nudism and spending my life in a hot tub so that I could keep the hot little wrinkly look I had going on. Needless to say the world was about to change with L.Maas in it.
I was brought into a lovely dysfunctional family that I would grow to love more than Paris Hilton loves her little dog Tink. My eldest brother Jacob has always been able to relate with me best; from carrying me on his shoulders to teaching me how to drive he was my buddy. Then the next oldest is my sister Ericca. Nine years apart in age but as close as two adorable little peas in a pod, she is my best friend, my rock, and forever my role model. Next comes my darling older brother Caleb; how do I describe Caleb? Well, he is a witty, cynical, fascinating, ridiculously charming and beautiful young man. I love him more than life itself, but when we get into ludicrous arguments about which cleaning solution will best get a grass stain out of my new white pants I strongly consider just strangling him with them. Like I said, we are completely dysfunctional, but if we were functional I would have probably considered moving out. Moved in with the Partridge’s or the Brady’s we all knew what happened when the cameras were turned off. So, who are the owners of these charming little darlings? Kimberly and David Maas serve as our caretakers, our parents, but most of all our wisdom providers. They would bend over backwards, and do any other extremely difficult stretch to help us out. Because of this wonderful family I was able to become all that I could be, and I didn’t even need the Army Reserve.
Through the years I went on a journey, an adventure if you will, to find something better than a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, although I tried that too, I got lost. I was in search of my niche. Such a beautiful word, this “niche.” I was determined to find it; I adopted a cat once, thought I could be a veterinarian. Turned out the cat was a whore and there was a lot of incest, and, well, we ended up with 30 cats in about seven months. I thought this meant my business was booming, but my mother had different thoughts. Ok, whatever, so I crossed vet off my list, they don’t make enough money anyway. I knew where the real moneymakers were, and that’s what led me to my dream of becoming part of the WNBA. Day and night I was out in our driveway working on my “skills,” I had the lay-up down pact, about 20 percent with my free throws, basically I had MJ shakin’ in his high tops. But for some reason my eighth grade coach didn’t see my talent and put me on the “B-Squad” which we all know is the nice was of saying “Bloody Awful-Squad.” Well, whatever, I didn’t need the smelly WNBA anyway, girls in sports? Please. So with those two crossed off my list I decided to go with something a little subtler, organizing and planning. Which totally makes sense because what do you get when you cross a WNBA star with a veterinarian? Duh, an organizing and planning freak! Ok, so it doesn’t totally make sense, but it is kind of my passion. Weird passion, I know, but it’s what I like for now, and it is what led me to the fine institution of The George Washington University. How you ask? Well let me tell you, I set up this fantastic spread sheet of all of my likes and dislikes, interests and non-interests, and just about every other opposite pair in the world, did a couple of quick calculations, pulled out the Pythagorean theorem and out popped G-Dub!
Ok, so I didn’t exactly reach my life goal of finding my “niche” but, hey, guess what? I’m not done living yet! If I don’t find it at GW I’ll find it somewhere else, in the mean time I take every experience as a lesson and try to do everything in my power to make someone else’s day. So, until my little friend Mr. Niche comes knocking on my door, I’m just here as Laura Maas living my life and loving every moment of it.
I was brought into a lovely dysfunctional family that I would grow to love more than Paris Hilton loves her little dog Tink. My eldest brother Jacob has always been able to relate with me best; from carrying me on his shoulders to teaching me how to drive he was my buddy. Then the next oldest is my sister Ericca. Nine years apart in age but as close as two adorable little peas in a pod, she is my best friend, my rock, and forever my role model. Next comes my darling older brother Caleb; how do I describe Caleb? Well, he is a witty, cynical, fascinating, ridiculously charming and beautiful young man. I love him more than life itself, but when we get into ludicrous arguments about which cleaning solution will best get a grass stain out of my new white pants I strongly consider just strangling him with them. Like I said, we are completely dysfunctional, but if we were functional I would have probably considered moving out. Moved in with the Partridge’s or the Brady’s we all knew what happened when the cameras were turned off. So, who are the owners of these charming little darlings? Kimberly and David Maas serve as our caretakers, our parents, but most of all our wisdom providers. They would bend over backwards, and do any other extremely difficult stretch to help us out. Because of this wonderful family I was able to become all that I could be, and I didn’t even need the Army Reserve.
Through the years I went on a journey, an adventure if you will, to find something better than a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, although I tried that too, I got lost. I was in search of my niche. Such a beautiful word, this “niche.” I was determined to find it; I adopted a cat once, thought I could be a veterinarian. Turned out the cat was a whore and there was a lot of incest, and, well, we ended up with 30 cats in about seven months. I thought this meant my business was booming, but my mother had different thoughts. Ok, whatever, so I crossed vet off my list, they don’t make enough money anyway. I knew where the real moneymakers were, and that’s what led me to my dream of becoming part of the WNBA. Day and night I was out in our driveway working on my “skills,” I had the lay-up down pact, about 20 percent with my free throws, basically I had MJ shakin’ in his high tops. But for some reason my eighth grade coach didn’t see my talent and put me on the “B-Squad” which we all know is the nice was of saying “Bloody Awful-Squad.” Well, whatever, I didn’t need the smelly WNBA anyway, girls in sports? Please. So with those two crossed off my list I decided to go with something a little subtler, organizing and planning. Which totally makes sense because what do you get when you cross a WNBA star with a veterinarian? Duh, an organizing and planning freak! Ok, so it doesn’t totally make sense, but it is kind of my passion. Weird passion, I know, but it’s what I like for now, and it is what led me to the fine institution of The George Washington University. How you ask? Well let me tell you, I set up this fantastic spread sheet of all of my likes and dislikes, interests and non-interests, and just about every other opposite pair in the world, did a couple of quick calculations, pulled out the Pythagorean theorem and out popped G-Dub!
Ok, so I didn’t exactly reach my life goal of finding my “niche” but, hey, guess what? I’m not done living yet! If I don’t find it at GW I’ll find it somewhere else, in the mean time I take every experience as a lesson and try to do everything in my power to make someone else’s day. So, until my little friend Mr. Niche comes knocking on my door, I’m just here as Laura Maas living my life and loving every moment of it.
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